Would you like to buy a vowel???

Sitting in the rocking chair, my patient turns and looks at me at says, "I don't feel well today". After pressing the issue, trying to identify what exactly was wrong, and what I could do for him, he continued to repeat over and over, "the doctor said its my pirates, they're abnormal" "Pirates??" I asked. "Yes, pirates...p-i-r-a-t-e-s". Well, since he took the time to spell it, I knew that's what he was saying. Now, I have been a nurse for awhile, and never heard of abnormal pirates. He then asked me, what will happen to him if his pirates do not improve. I wanted to say, "well, you may encounter some trouble the next time you take over a ship", but I didn't. I simply picked up the phone and called his doctor. The doctor was less than pleased to get on the phone, and more agitated when I asked him whats wrong with my patients pirates. He said a few choice words.... then said...ohhhhh, he just had blood work, and his PLATELETS were abnormal...I tried not to laugh, but couldn't help myself. I told my patient he would be fine.. his pirates will be checked again next month.. nothing to worry about.